Angel Note

Angel Note
"If Music be the food of Love, Play on!" -- Wm. Shakespeare, Twelfth Night

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Valentine's Day for Fathers

So I passed another mile-marker this weekend. Our daughter ZeldaPrincess just turned 17, and has a [new] boyfriend. we have taught our kids all their lives that they should wait until 16 to date, and 18 (college) to steady-date. With Skitl, our oldest, this wasn't an issue, because he was so shy. The next one, StarGazer, had a girlfriend as soon as he turned 16, but that lasted about two weeks, then he never went there again. Kissa went with a boy when she was a junior or senior, but again, it was short-lived and didn't happen again until college.
But with Z.P., this is her FIFTH boyfriend! She keeps settin' 'em up and knockin' 'em down. She even tells each one that she doesn't want a boyfriend anymore, but then turns around within weeks and gets another. We tell her every time she would be much better off if she would just date, which has about as much impact as if we were to tell the same thing to our living room sofa!
But this weekend, Z.P. has informed us that she and her friends made plans with her boyfriend to drive to his place and spend the day, since there is no school. The thing is, though, he lives 1 1/2 hours away on the other side of a very dangerous stretch of Interstate Freeway. Z.P. has been driving for only just over a year, but she was very upset when we informed her that she really shouldn't make plans like that without talking to us first, especially since we are NOT going to let her go.
I will often give in if I feel that a child's request is not unreasonable, but I have informed her that I will NOT be changing my mind on this one. I know that this decision is the right one, since all of the variables give me a bad feeling about the whole plan. Even knowing she wants to have her friends go with her doesn't make me feel better since teenage drivers are more likely to be distracted by friends in the car. 
Even so, I am asking (possibly in a means of justifying my decision) all of you... What would YOU say in a situation like this? If nothing else, perhaps knowing there are others out there who would be in the same circumstances would ease her eternal suffering over this one event. Again, I know in these circumstances my decision is the right one, but what would you tell your 17 year-old daughter?


Stick said...

I agree. We have our senior who was steady dating (against our advice and wishes) who recently broke it off with her beau. We have not approved any long drive type visits. That being said, When I was eighteen, mom and dad let me make a 300 mile trip with Casey to visit the two sisters we were dating. It was a fun trip, and we were very good the whole trip.

Delirious said...

I would agree with your decision. The nice thing is....he lives a long way away! :D Maybe a long distance relationship won't last??

Inklings said...

You're the father, and I say go with your gut feeling.

Nene said...

I agree, you have to go with your gut feeling. I had a gut feeling that Babs shouldn't go with his 2 friends and one friend's PARENTS to Disney World. I had no reason, just a gut feeling. I even told Babs I had no reason. These boys had never done anything wrong, and they WERE with one's parents, but they were off by themselves shopping and decided to shop-lift because a store clerk wouldn't help them. They continued store to store shop-lifting, thinking it was so funny because they hadn't got caught. They DID get caught after the authorities LET them accumulate $1,000.00 in merchandise. Now it was not a misdemenor anymore. Funny thing was, when I told Babs he couldn't go, he never argued with me. he told me that something told him I was right. Thank goodness for gut feelings.